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Mothers: being and becoming a mother

2 May 2019 by Strøm Spa Nordique

We all had a mother; we were all born of a woman. The common bond between our mothers is that they all gave birth. Most mothers, after giving birth, have devoted a large part of their lives to loving, pampering and caring for the human being that life has entrusted to them. Some women have not been able to. Heartbreaking personal circumstances and stories did not allow them to experience the next chapter. Mother’s Day celebrates all these women, those who gave birth, those who could not assume motherhood after birth and those who, out of love, took another woman’s child under their wings.

Take a group of women of all origins, of any social or professional status, if the conversation relates to their children, they will share the same concerns, the same joys, the same doubts, the same smiles, the same love.

Is it natural to be a mother? It can be said that we are not born a mother, but we become one … Simone de Beauvoir, forgive us for the modification of your quote! The particularity of this story is that it is a love story that never ends. It is a great adventure that is exhilarating, euphoric but also destabilizing. We do not know ourselves in the capacity of being a mother when we become a mother. We grow into our new role as we go along, little by little, by trial and error, and by great affection of the heart. It is the unconditional love for your child that will help you discover the desire, the courage and the will to continue on your quest for your maternal identity.

How to find your way to being a mother and not lose yourself as a person at the same time? You have to set a part of your life aside for self care, whether it is professional, intellectual, cultural or social. Take time to continue to develop your individuality. Friendships are also crucial to a mother’s balance. Laughing, exchanging, comparing ideas and sharing moments are important and should be part of your agenda. And to those who say that you can’t extend time, that time is not stretchable, I would say that we all need time to breathe, it is vital! The responsibility of caring for a child and to educate him/her is a shared one, let’s not forget that!

“All mothers are rich when they love their children. There are no poor mothers, no ugly ones, no old ones. Their love is always the most beautiful of joys. And when they seem sad, all they need is to receive or give a kiss and all their tears will become stars in the back of their eyes”.

– The blue bird by Maurice Maeterlinck

Honour Mother’s Day with reading suggestions on the topic of motherhood:

The Saving Graces (Patricia Gaffney)

Emma, ​​Rudy, Lee and Isabel meet every week to talk, share, laugh, discuss. They have different lives, but the friendship that binds them allows them to share their daily lives and what life puts in their path. They talk about the different colours of love, the desire to be a mother, the challenges of illness. We only have one desire when reading this book, and that is to join them.

I don’t know how she does it (Allison Pearson)

Kate Reddy is a brilliant economist in the city of London, mother of two, married. Her life is hectic, she wants to succeed. Post-feminist portrait and questions about the woman in the year 2000 who gives herself the mandate to bake or traffic cakes from the market to make homemade cupcakes while negotiating with an American who is a client of the bank she works for. Touching, relevant and less caricatural than Desperate Housewives.

The life before us (Romain Gary)

Momo loves Madame Rosa. Momo is an Arab boy and Madame Rosa is Jewish. She babysits the children of the prostitutes in the Belleville neighbourhood. She cherishes and takes care of Momo although no one pays her to take care of him. Rosa is sick and Momo will in turn look after her. A love story of great beauty and great humanity on the theme of the foster mother.

For the pleasure of seeing her again (Michel Tremblay)

Michel Tremblay magically invites us to his childhood kitchen to listen to the animated conversations he allows himself to revisit with his mother, fabulous Nana, who can sometimes no longer answer the many questions of her beloved son. Maternal and filial love at the heart of tasty, colourful and touching replicas of truth.

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