Olivier Niquet is a radio commentator, co-host of the daily radio show La journ\u00e9e (est encore jeune) on ICI Premi\u00e8re, author, and speaker. In April 2022, he published Les rois du silence, an essay aimed at helping introverts and extroverts understand each other better. Inspired by his journey as an introvert in the media as well as in everyday life, he wants to give a voice to the quietest among us.<\/p>\n
Hello, Olivier. What are the reasons that motivated you to speak more openly about introversion in the media?<\/p>\n
\u201cIntroverts, by definition, are pretty quiet. We don\u2019t see them much, especially in the media. When I started talking about my introversion on the radio, I received messages from people who told me, \u2018Thank you for talking about us. I\u2019m also an introvert, and I feel recognized.\u2019 \u201cSo, I realized there was an audience for that\u2026<\/p>\n
I would say a market, but I didn\u2019t write a book to make money (laughter)! As a society, we often let extroverts speak. I wanted to give a voice to people who don\u2019t talk.”<\/p>\n
What is it about introversion that inhibits expression?<\/p>\n
\u201cThere\u2019s a question of neuropsychology behind this that I couldn\u2019t explain in detail. But what\u2019s certain is that we have to differentiate between embarrassment and intro- version, because embarrassment is the fear of talking to people. I\u2019m not necessarily afraid of talking to people. If I\u2019m properly prepared, I\u2019m capable of speaking in front of a room of hundreds of people without any problems. That doesn\u2019t stress me out. But making small talk, talking about the rain and the nice weather… I can\u2019t do that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Why?<\/p>\n
\u201cOften, I\u2019d like discussions to be more meaningful, because it takes a lot of energy for me to have a discussion. Instead of staying on the surface and talking about the weather, I\u2019d like to find a way to personalize the words. I\u2019d like to say, \u2018I saw your Instagram photo. Were you on a trip? How was it?\u2019 But these references rarely come to mind for me in the moment\u2026 However, even if I\u2019m not good at small talk, I recognize that it\u2019s useful and important in society. It\u2019s not threatening, there are no consequences to it, and we\u2019re simply showing that we can be friendly.\u201d<\/p>\n
How is your introversion received in a social context?<\/p>\n
\u201cI think it can be heavy, because I\u2019d say I\u2019m a pretty extreme case of introversion. I have trouble keeping a discussion going. When you\u2019re talking to someone and they don\u2019t restart the conversation or almost don\u2019t respond, you may get the impression that they\u2019re not interested, when that isn\u2019t necessarily the case.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy girlfriend, for example, in the early years of our relationship, must have found it difficult that I didn\u2019t say a word all evening during a dinner with her friends whom I barely knew. But in all cases, I always show I\u2019m interested in the discussion, even if I\u2019m not participating in it very actively. I\u2019m not in my corner with my phone; I\u2019m not looking elsewhere. I\u2019m actively listening, and people recognize that. \u201cSo, while I totally accept my condition, I also try to improve myself so that it\u2019s more pleasant for others. I do this over time without distorting myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
How do you get yourself there?<\/p>\n
\u201cOne thing that helps a lot is figuring out how to distribute my energy on a daily basis. If I\u2019m participating in a two- hour brainstorming meeting at work, I\u2019ll definitely leave it feeling drained. I won\u2019t organize a party afterward; I know that in advance. I love parties, 5-\u00e0-7s… all that. I\u2019m not a homebody, but I know that kind of event takes a lot of energy out of me, and I need to relax the next day.\u201d<\/p>\n
What is your relationship with silence?<\/p>\n
\u201cI like to be alone in silence. I find it valuable and important, among other reasons because that\u2019s when I absorb and put together the knowledge I learned during the day. It\u2019s when my best ideas for projects and subjects come up. However, these days, we\u2019re almost never alone staring into the void. We\u2019re on our phones, listening to music or a podcast, or watching TV. There\u2019s always something we can take refuge in.<\/p>\n
\u201cStrangely, there are also times when silence makes me uncomfortable. For example, if I cross paths with someone I don\u2019t really know while leaving the office, and we realize we\u2019re both going to take the metro, and we have 10 minutes to walk together and not much to say to each other, that can quickly get uncomfortable. Even a short silence in an elevator can cause me discomfort, even though I appreciate silence, and I\u2019m known for being silent!\u201d<\/p>\n
Do extroverts ever ask you to be more talkative?<\/p>\n
\u201cAh, that\u2019s the worst thing you can say to an introvert! \u2018Why aren\u2019t you talking?\u2019 \u2018Talk more!\u2019 Personally, that puts pressure on me, and I talk even less. If I were capable and I wanted to talk more, I would do it! It\u2019s beyond my control. This reasoning applies to all sorts of conditions. You can\u2019t just tell someone with anxiety to calm down. It\u2019s not something that can easily be controlled like that. \u201cWe often see the same kind of situation with children. We ask them, \u2018Why are you embarrassed? Why aren\u2019t you talking? Say hello to the lady,\u2019 and that often just adds to their stress.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have two kids, one of whom is a little more like me, and I don\u2019t put any pressure on him. I see him go up to his hockey team, and he isn\u2019t very similar to his team- mates, and we laugh about it. He finds it funny, because he knows I was like that when I was younger (and still today). I don\u2019t force him to go and talk to people and make friends; that\u2019s not how it works. Just the fact that he understands that he\u2019s like that is already a step in the right direction.<\/p>\n
Would you say that you have democratized introversion?<\/p>\n
\u201cI may have helped make it known, yes. But I think the important thing is accepting all types of personalities. I\u2019m not asking for reasonable accommodations for introverted people, but maybe just making a little effort to recognize that they exist, and making room for them. And if they don\u2019t want that room, that\u2019s OK, too. But maybe they\u2019re just waiting for someone to call on them to say what they have to say. It\u2019s often happened to me that I have things to say, but I hesitate, or I\u2019m incapable of inserting myself into the conversation. If someone had asked me, \u2018What do you think about that?\u2019, that would have helped.<\/p>\n
\u201c We live in a world where everyone is fighting for attention. It\u2019s the one who shouts loudest and fastest who attracts attention, especially in the media and on social networks. While us introverts, we need to think before we decide. If there were a better balance and more room were given to those who think before speaking, perhaps things would be better in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Olivier Niquet is a radio commentator, co-host of the daily radio show La journ\u00e9e (est encore jeune) on ICI Premi\u00e8re, author, and speaker. In April 2022, he published Les rois du silence, an essay aimed at helping introverts and extroverts understand each other better. Inspired by his journey as an introvert in the media as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":52183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6206],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-52187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-societe-en"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52187","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/18"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=52187"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52187\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":52190,"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52187\/revisions\/52190"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/52183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=52187"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=52187"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stromspa.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=52187"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}